The King.

The King.

(via hellonanana)

La Javanaise Untuk 2012

28 Februari 2011, Senin, tahun ketiga gua berada di Prancis. Gua dan beberapa teman gua di sini ngerayain tanggal itu dengan pergi ke sebuah tempat karaoke. Dimana kita menyanyi di depan banyak orang. Silly, but fun. Cara yang berbeda dengan perayaan tahun lalu. I realised one thing the moment we sang La Javanaise ; “This is the first time we sing this song together.

Mungkin ga semuanya sadar akan hal ini, mungkin emang gua yang saat itu agak sedikit melankolis. Tapi, kata ‘pertama kali’ adalah dua buah kata yang berperan sebagai awalan dari suatu zaman, masa, tragedi dan cerita.

Things have changed. Ada beberapa hal yang pasti berubah, dan ada beberapa hal yang memang seharusnya tetap sama seperti 3 tahun yang lalu. I remember the fear i felt when i was in the airport, the excitement when i arrived in the city of lights for the first time. Those moments popped up in my mind yesterday. 

For once in a while, kita kembali mengingat apa yang telah kita lewati di belakang. Once in a year, kita melihat jauh dan kembali merasakan, namun juga menyadari. Hal yang dulu sedih, menjadi lucu. Hal yang besar, terlihat sangat kecil. Hal yang bukan apa-apa, menjadi terlihat sangat hebat. Yang berbeda tidak hanya hal-hal yang bisa terlihat, tapi juga kemampuan untuk melihat. 

Setiap tahun mempunyai kenangan yang berbeda, dikenang dari mata yang berbeda dan mengenang dengan cara yang juga berbeda. 

28 Februari 2012 mungkin akan dibuka dengan sebuah kenangan berjudul La Javanaise. Kenangan yang baru saja akan kita buat sekarang. 

And today, still, the fear is laying here, the excitement still exists, in a different way. The thing is we do need to change, for we will enjoy the things that have passed. Make a trace wherever you start to continue walking, so you can, for once in a while, remember and always know where to begin to look back a little. 

2011, Caen, France. 

I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and… I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that’s suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

High Fidelity
My dearest Uncle and his only one baby, Amanda. Play your ‘Hello Dolly’, Mister.

My dearest Uncle and his only one baby, Amanda. Play your ‘Hello Dolly’, Mister.

HELLO DOLLY

Last saturday was qualified as the saddest day of the year. Why? because when you lost something unexpected, that would become so…overwhelmingly hurts. It feels like you took everything about him for granted. Never thought that the person you’ve never thought about, means a lot to you. 

I lost my dearest Uncle, from my mom’s side. He was the funniest guy ever, the loveliest.. He was a good man. The father of my baby sister who is actually my cousin but she’s more like a sister. The moment i heard about the bad news, i didn’t prepare for anything. It was like a bomb that suddenly exploded right in front of my eyes. He disappeared in a blink of an eye. And yes, it hurts. It hurts so much when i finally realised that the last day i saw him was really the last one day. 

Being far from the ones you love makes it more and more harder to stop thinking about what the hell is happening back at home when things go wrong like this. My baby sister now lost the presence of a father. And i say it again, it really really hurts to the bones when you can do nothing about it. You’re too far to shed her tears. Oh, God, i love her more than words can describe. 

And what should i do next? This question is posted in my mind everyday. And i have no idea. What? help her to choose which college would be the best for her, how to solve a problem, how to protect her from…a broken heart? No matter what, the broken heart of losing a father could never ever be mended. 

So this is one of my biggest fears. It happened. I lost a member of the family when i’m away from my family. And the worry.. the worry about what would happen to my baby sister, it never goes away. I’m suffocated by the worries and the grief and the fact that things would be super completely different when i get back. 

I’m afraid, it was never flashed in my mind that our life could be so upside down in the count of seconds - and it happened to me, for real.

People come, people go. They cheer, they grieve. Some of them play piano everyday, some of them pray all day long. “LIFE IS SO IRONICALLY UNPREDICTABLE”. And yes, WE WERE HAPPY THEN ALL OF SUDDEN WE HAVE TO FACE THE TRUTH AND WE CRY - WE FEEL SUFFOCATED AND BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO THE SQUEEZING PAIN. AND ALL WE GOT TO DO IS TO MANAGE OURSELVES AND LOOKING FORWARD, TO LEARN FROM OTHERS HOW TO SMILE AGAIN AND TO FORGIVE LIFE ABOUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED. After all, We should be ready for all the bad things that might happen, anytime. 

Hello Dolly was his favorite song. He played the song perfectly, no one play it better than him. I love the song and love him even more.

Good night, Mister. I’ll see you when i see you. 

The longer you wait, the harder it’s gonna be to find out, no matter which way it goes.

Facing the truth.
 An Education by Nick Hornby : ”A coming-of-age story about a teenage girl in 1960s suburban London, and how her life changes with the arrival of a playboy nearly twice her age.” 

 An Education by Nick Hornby : ”A coming-of-age story about a teenage girl in 1960s suburban London, and how her life changes with the arrival of a playboy nearly twice her age.” 

TO BE HONEST (IT) IS HARD.
Me, Cempaka and BBM.
Cempaka : Gua pikir ngomong itu adalah sesuatu yang gampang, ternyata susah.
Me : Susah lah. Karena ketika lo berani untuk ngomong apa yang lo rasain, artinya lo berani untuk jujur. Jujur itu sulit, lagi. Karena kita tau gak semua orang bisa nerima.
Cempaka : It happens sama gua, ya.
Me : It happens to everyone.
Cempaka : Susah ya. Theory seems easier.
Me : It always is easier. Ngomong pake otak lebih mudah daripada ngomong pake hati.

No matter what you’re gonna say, make sure it’s the right thing to say. Because in the end, you’ll say it to your self. Just be prepared, don’t let the knife turns back.

Words could cause a scar.

Sekolah itu untuk melatih intelektualitas supaya orang juga percaya. Tapi kesuksesan itu ada karena keberanian. Makanya, ketika kita merasa yakin, lakukan saja.

Supir terhebat sedunia, teman bicara dan berdiskusi di perjalanan - Pak Yatno, telah mengajar saya selama 20 thn and still counting.